Church to Ensure Virgin Sightings Are Not Demonic Hallucinations… Seriously!

The Independent is reporting that new guidelines to be issued by the Vatican will ensure that henceforth only “real” miraculous sightings of the Virgin Mary will be made public. I suppose they are tired of all those non-miraculous sightings. My favorite part of the story was this line:

If the visionary is considered credible they will ultimately be questioned by one or more demonologists and exorcists to exclude the possibility that Satan is hiding behind the apparitions in order to deceive the faithful.


2 Responses

  1. I was accidentally watching the 700 Club (did you know it comes on ABC Family at like 11pm?) Anywho…there was a couple who were about $50,000 in credit card debt and the husband thought that perhaps God would understand if they cut their tithing back until things were more under control. But the wife was like “Oh no! God says to give what is your and he’ll repay you ten-fold”. So they prayed together, cut up their credit cards, he started working more over time, she started selling more houses and voila…God’s love is shown. They are almost out of debt. It’s a miracle!!!

    I know it’s no Virgin Mary sighting but I think demonologists should still come to the house, along with Suze Orman, to determine if they are credible or just doing what every other over extended American should be doing.

  2. I have been holding on to a grilled cheese sandwich that is a miracle b/c it has the image of Mary on it. perhaps i should just go ahead and put it on ebay now, or maybe i will just stop and get some chips on the way home and have it for dinner. Since it now appears that it isnt what I had once hoped…….

    Of course what do I do if one of the chips has an image of Mary on it????? The Vatican would be forced to acknowledge the miracles then.

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